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Fathering this Generation
I believe a Biblical ideal in respect of fathering is shown with Timothy. He was discipled both by his own family and Paul added his own dynamic to that discipleship while at the same time honoring the foundations laid in his family heritage. Young people and children from Godly homes have the opportunity to receive discipleship from both within and outside their family circle - all working together to bring forth a vibrant, passionate and mature follower of Jesus. This I believe is the Biblical perspective of "normal" holistic fathering.
However many young people and children do not have Christian families - they will be looking to us for modeling in many areas of their lives were they have no other foundations. Some of these young people and children may have come from loving and caring homes, others having been deprived of the love that Jesus intended them to have during their primary years.
The intention of this article is to give some bullet points and practical perspectives on fathering (discipleship) that I hope will give you a grasp on what fathering (discipleship) could look like:
The father or discipler:
*This is about Jesus at the centre, walking in His power and multiplying all He has
entrusted to you
*Your own walk with Jesus and your understanding of and relationship with Him is
the wellspring of life from which your relationship with your disciples will flow.
Passion is catching - how passionate are you about Jesus?
*Ask Jesus for His unconditional Love for those He will bring into your life.
*You can only disciple a few - maybe 3 or 4. Jesus had Peter James and John then
the other 9. Can we disciple more than Jesus?
*Be sure that you are discipling your own children intentionally - the family is the
model. If you are a father in your home - you can be a father to others.
*You do not have to be perfect to disciple another, you do not have to reach a
certain standard - in Matthew 28 it says that "some doubted" but Jesus still told
them to GO!
*Have vision for those you are discipling, believe that Jesus can use them beyond
anything you or they might imagine and see them through the eyes of Jesus.
*Disciple those who want to be like you - Paul said "Be imitators of me as I am of
Christ" the goal of a disciple in Biblical times was to be like his Rabbi.
*Have clear agreed expectations from both parties as to what the relationship
might look like - unmet expectations are one of the primary breakdowns in
relationship.
*Be sure you are committed for the long haul.
*Be consistent - it is better to offer a little and be faithful for the long term, than
offer much and not be able to se it through.
*Father generationally in spiritually and physically.
*Share your life - include them in any aspect of your life, work, shopping, sport,
family, recreation, ministry etc etc. This is lifestyle discipleship and gives a full
picture of what life with Jesus might have looked look like. It also allows you to
be more available than if you are continually trying to make "special events and
special times"
*Listen to your disciple - follow what Jesus is doing in their life - respond to what
they are concerned about - teach with application to their lives - respond to
them in the context of their family.
*Pray for your disciples - and ask for wisdom. Many can give answers, but few can
give wisdom.
*Be clear about the goals they are moving towards.
*Understand their family dynamics and always look to extend discipleship to the
whole family.
*Don't be afraid to challenge.
*Focus on Christ like character rather than gifts. Gifts will flow naturally from godly
character and will last, ungodly character will bring down the gift.
*Be open to their input into your life.
*Ask good questions - be a great listener.
*You don't have to have all the answers - your greatest assets is your own life lived
before them and your own love for Jesus.
*Have good boundaries - this is good modeling for them too.
*Inspire them to be a father (discipler) - help them birth their own sons (disciples).
*Be real with them - allow them to pray for you, ask them to help you in practical
ways also - this is what a son does for and with a father.
*Show them how to be a good "son" and intentionally develop that in them.
A Spiritual Son
*Find a father (discipler) who you want to be like.
*Stay teachable.
*Be ready to learn from every aspect of the life of your "father".
*Be reliable and committed to the relationship.
*When conflict comes - be ready to resolve it and move on in the relationship.
*Remember that the person discipling is not perfect, they will let you down but
that does not mean that Jesus can not use them in your life, or that you can not
learn from them.
*Be responsible fro your own spiritual growth.
*Take initiative in the relationship and express your thoughts, needs, joys and
desires.
*Take an interest in your spiritual father and look for ways you can meet his need
too.
*Become a father yourself as soon as the opportunity arises.
*Understand that your "father" can not meet all your needs, or be available every
time you want/need him - only Jesus can be that to you.
*Understand that the relationship will develop, mature and change as you grow
in Christ.
AND FINALLY A THOUGHT TO CONSIDER
Jesus sent out His disciples into the nations to make disciples - it was not an "in church" relationship. It was to disciple those who do not yet know Him. |
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